On this episode of Circuit of Success, host Brett Gilliland interviews Alana Stott, a security expert and Member of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire. Alana and Brett discuss her and her husband’s journey, which began with her husband spending a lot of time in Libya and then cycling from Argentina to Alaska to raise money for a mental health charity. They also talk about the importance of forgiveness and how to let go of resentment and anger, as well as the importance of dealing with disappointment and finding the silver lining in difficult situations. Alana encourages listeners to pick up a copy of her book, She Who Dares.
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Speaker Brett Gilliland: Welcome to the Circuit of Success. I am your Host, Brett Gilliland. I’ve got Alana Scott with or Stott with me today. I’m sorry, Alana. How are you? Speaker Alana Stott: Oh, it’s okay. I’m completely used to that. Thank you very much. Speaker Brett Gilliland: I told myself I wasn’t gonna do that and here I did it. Be careful what we tell ourselves. Right? Speaker Alana Stott: I know. Well, my maiden name was Dylan, so I thought Stott would be an upgrade, but it’s Stott. Speaker Brett Gilliland: It’s right. It’s just just as hard. Right? So where are you calling in from? Speaker Alana Stott: I’m in California right now Speaker Brett Gilliland: right now. Okay. Very nice. How’s California weather good? Speaker Alana Stott: Yeah. It’s been good. Yeah. It’s starting to cool down a bit so I’m again. I mean, the cool down here is still like super hot for scotland. So Speaker Brett Gilliland: Right. Yeah. I was just in Oregon, golfing last week in they said they don’t even have air conditioners up there. And, like, we it was like sixty five was the high, and they said it was that was hot for them. So we hit we hit the jackpot, so that was good. Weather was amazing. Yeah. We’re good. Well, if you can Speaker Alana Stott: Go ahead. Pardon me. No. I don’t mind it, but, I I do like to the cooler temperatures for sure. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Absolutely. So if you can, let us give us a little background. What’s made you the woman you are today? You’ve got a lot of stuff going on, and we’ll get to that and and see your books back there in the background. And and Kelly Sharon spoke very highly of you and said, you gotta get her on the podcast, and Then I saw you were in Stott Louis recently Gilliland we’re at, a women in business event. You met Katie Collier. So it’s just a small world. It just continues to amaze me. But if you can, just give us a lay of the land. What’s made you the woman you are today? Speaker Alana Stott: Yeah. Super small world. Absolutely. Well, I was born in Aberdeen in Scotland, which a small small city in Scotland, but it’s also the oil and gas capital of Europe. So it’s small but mighty, I guess. I grew up and while would be kind of more of a we call it a counter lift date. I guess you guys mean like the kind of gateway kind of areas. So it was kind of an a a city that was wealthy and poor. That was it. That it had an overall middle ground. It was that. My mom was a single mom, so we kinda grew up that we had to be half to herself since she provided the the basic needs, which was always meant for us, but everything else we had to work on ourselves. So I started working now is eleven. And that really was just a job that I guess it got me from, nothing to just been able to to do, like, similar things. So they didn’t actually pay me in this first job that I worked as, and they would pay me in food. But it was really cool food. So it was something a bit different from from what I was used to. But what I did do was I used that experience to learn about base like customer service, how to operate cash, all these kind of things. And what that allowed them was when I was twelve, I applied for a job and got this job in a a fast food place, but it was like a small kind of independent run fast food place and the guy that ran it was an alcoholic so he used to disappear every bunch of time as soon as the pub would open, he went. So I ended up pretty much just running this this little place by myself. So having a really quickly learn things like it was it was fish and chips, so you were using a fryer and everything. So even those simple things, twelve years old, you were having a quick around how to use these types of things, which then led me on to my next my next job. And then again, I was paid a bit more. And then a job came up when I was thirteen in tally sales, but my brother wanted this job again. He wanted to start earning some money for himself. So I said I would call the the organization forum because he was too nervous to do it, which doesn’t go well for Talleys. It was to be honest. I called up the lady and she actually ended up offering me a job while I was on the phone. So at thirteen, I got this job in this telemarket environment that was a hundred percent commission based, and that was really when I learned about how you can make money a different way. And then, unfortunately, around that time, my mom also getting really Gilliland eventually she she passed away. So it went from earning just to earning a little bit of extras to earning a bit of more money to get more luxury items, I guess, to then if this was now we were earning to pay the rent and pay the food and had a younger brother as well. We had to look after. So I’d gone from from, again, this is my next second Stott. But luckily I can learn along the way how to make money in different different ways. So we were able to cover the rent, but This was around about the time I then had to leave school because looking after my brother’s school, two jobs, it just wasn’t really working. So at fifteen, I was away from the educational world, I guess, but I was in the in the working environment. Around about that same time, my, younger brother’s dad came back and and kinda won custody of him. There was a small battle, but fifteen could do much to to keep him. And he took him away to live in Gilliland, and I followed because I’d only ever known my little brother in my life. So I I followed down to england and ended up working in, like, hotel chamber made in, cleaning rooms, and just doing anything I could bear. So I lived I lived there for for a small portion of time, but you you know, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen. I was super vulnerable to everything else that was going on in the world So I, unfortunately, I was in a position where I was sexually assaulted as well. So I went through a process of, a court case and things. And this is really where I learned a lot about the the system and how how sexual abuse works and and all this this the process that follows it, and that was really where I felt like I needed to learn a lot more about that area and how this is really how I started got got into the process of working in human trafficking and and fighting sexual abuse. During this whole process, I was working more in financial sectors. So I became a a debt collector, and then I ended up as a bank manager, and then they met my husband who was in the special forces, the UK special forces. He was, you know, kind of at the top of his game and then he got injured in a terrible accident in Oman and left the military after sixteen years. So we had to find a new career for him. And that was learned about the time we both decided to go into close protection. I’d learned that there was a lack of people able to help in the human trafficking environment I wanted to do something that was a bit different to what I’d been doing. So we both went into train as well, he was already fully trained as a close protection officer or bodyguard, whatever you wanna call it. But he needed his civilian qualification. So we both went and done a course together. And around that same time, I found out I was pregnant with my daughter. So Let’s again. It was a new career, but but pregnant bodyguards weren’t in high demand at this Speaker Brett Gilliland: point. Yeah. Right. Speaker Alana Stott: I ended up then learning a lot more the back end of the security business. So I was planning and doing a lot of the planning logistics and things like that. So then when Arab spring happened, which the revolution in North Africa. My husband ends up spending a lot of time there and he was in Libya for pretty much the most of everything. So then that again changed the path of what we were doing, and Libya just became a new new part of our world. Fast forward a little bit more. Dean was getting himself into more and more dangerous situations. So then he decided that what we decided together, he thought we were gonna take her out of that. And the how did it come up here? We said if you needed a new challenge, and then we decided that he would he would do a bike ride, so he was gonna cycle from Argentina to Alaska, which is fourteen thousand miles, and we were gonna raise money for a mental health Stott. So we’ve moved into that, and that was great. I I furthered my work in finance with maybe in learning more more about how to ask for money and how you raised money. I used my experience from debt collecting from the bank lines. And just really learned about the process of asking for money. So we raised over a million dollars on that campaign, And then that led us to move to America in the middle of COVID, and here we are. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Well, that’s a hell of a resume. And and the fourteen thousand miles happened. Right? Speaker Alana Stott: Yeah. Yeah. He broke it in ninety nine days and he broke two road records doing it. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Wow. So what was that like? Speaker Alana Stott: I mean, that’s so this was something completely new. He was coming back from from Libya. He’d gone from working with a special version three had this team around him all the time to working on his own. He’d been injured, so there was slight limitations to what his leg had been ripped. His ACL is NCL is hammerstein was gone. So there was lots of stuff he he couldn’t do. So he was in Libya for the most part on his own on certain operations. If he would come home and if there would be, like, shirts just soaked in blood, there would be Yeah. In this is what happened. It was just super close. Like, it’s magnifying for me running out with this patch. So but I knew that you couldn’t do a night a five job, he wouldn’t be sat behind an office desk that would just kill him more than anything. So we needed to find some sort of adrenaline in Speaker Brett Gilliland: the bus Speaker Alana Stott: that just wouldn’t kill him. And then it was around about the same time him and Prince Harry were friends, and Harry was setting up this mental health campaign that was being in a collaboration and mental health priorities together. So he said, would you mind doing it if you were gonna do it, do it for for this cause to try and raise money? So we were like, yeah. Absolutely. Let’s do that. So the focus had to be undine. First of all, getting fit and being able to cycle this hundred and fifty miles a day in minimum. So he had to keep his focus on that, and then I had to keep the focus on the fundraising. The issue that I actually came up with us was because Harry was involved, we were like under a microscope. It was completely. Then he met Megan during this whole process, and then it it got even worse for for everything. So there was there was zero benefit to having a royal name attached to this. I can tell you. But what I’d done was similar to what I’d done probably when I was eleven, I took everything that we gained and just used it to to learn as much as I could about that situation that we were in. So as an example, we have we had eleven non profits under this this campaign that we’re working with, and I managed to secure two hundred thousand in two hundred thousand pounds donation from one one organization, but the royal household had actually met with his organization before they were a bit I I guess a bit peeved that they hadn’t got to them first. So we then had to go through a bit of a legal process where I had to then spend money to be able to accept this money. And that was really frustrating because you’re just trying to raise money for a call. It’s what you’ve got all this retate basically to go through politics therapy to go through. So I learned so much about that test during that about what there was involved when it came to actually asking for money to receive in money, how to accept money. There was all sorts we had to think about that I I probably super naive to at the beginning. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. And then the Harry and Megan thing happening in the middle of that, that doesn’t help stuff. I wouldn’t think. Speaker Alana Stott: No. I mean, well, I think they had their own thing going on and because you were funny because when we started the whole process, we had very little social media dial and Dean didn’t have a presence online whatsoever. He was gonna be Speaker Brett Gilliland: — Yeah. — you know, Speaker Alana Stott: he did special forces. He was completely dark. So, Dean got away from that to being really put under a bit of a spotlight. And a lot of this, for example, when he broke the world record, he broke it on the eleventh of May, and the wedding was on the nineteenth of May. So we flew home in time through the wedding, but then all the questions were in would the wedding like? How was it? What was she wearing with Steven? Not one question about well, you’ve just cycle Fourteen. Yeah. Yeah. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. Broga world record in fourteen thousand miles, but how was the wedding? Exactly. Speaker Alana Stott: And then Speaker Brett Gilliland: they had their didn’t they do a Netflix thing or something? I don’t follow it. So I just know they There was a lot of drama there from what I hear. So, so let let’s talk about like so you’re doing this stuff when you’re the high profile bodyguards and different things. I mean, that’s a unique A lot of people listen this probably don’t have or need a bodyguard, but, I still think it’s fascinating is what kind of work are you doing? So apply that work to the work of, like, the everyday person that what we do, whether it’s in a conference room, a boardroom, whatever you have, what what are some of the parallels there? Speaker Alana Stott: Know, it’s it’s everything like the the logistics and planning that go into security operation are the exact same things as if you were plan and, you know, a takeover of a company or if you were starting up a new business and this is the same ingredients that goes into it. And it depends how well you do it as to what your outcome is, Gilliland that I’ve watched many security companies fail. Over the restart, our security come in two thousand and ten, and over that year’s amount of businesses I’ve seen go down, when the operators are some of the best that I’ve ever known in the special forces world, they were, you know, the number one. The skills that these guys have brought to incredible, but the things that they lacked, and then they never went and found. The the biggest one that I ever come across is their inability to understand their value and to actually send invoices and to be on top of their business and and to treat it as a business, you know, because they would be you know, this incredible skills have been able to rescue hostages out hostile environments or, you know, take celebrities around the world or whatever area of security you’re working, you could be in a mining in in Mexico or you could be, you know, on the red carpet in LA. When you’re not running the actual business correctly, none of that can matter. And that some has something I see all the time is that that they’re not running the back end properly. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. I would assume most of the big, big celebrities these days have detail like yourselves. Is that correct? Speaker Alana Stott: Yeah. If we stay away up well away from celebrities now, but, the most of them do have a level of security. And and again, that’s some one of the jobs that we do now is we do vulnerability assessment. So we actually go and assess the security package that is existing within clients. And often it can be that a person either, normally people don’t engage security until it’s Stott the fact that they actually need it. That’s their disappointing point. What I mean, what we do is we provide vulnerability assessments. We’ll go in and we’ll check out a person’s advice and check out everything from their their children right up to their businesses and see any holes, any loops, anything that people into up to cyber security is a huge huge issue for most people now. That’s not actually what we do. We’re more of the physical but we do look at them and see what they’ve got in place. And we can put them in the in the right direction, but a lot of time, security incident had to take, like, Kim Kardashian and Paris, you know, when she was attacked in the hotel room in Paris, that was when she upped her security massively. Now I would argue there’s a bit of an advantage taken there because she didn’t need when she went up to, but the fear was used to then see what we’ve got going this entire and on. And a lot of the times, this type of people are are huge taking advantage of because they don’t understand exactly what it is that they need and people see them as a massive paycheck, you know, and we can get whatever we want out of these people. They know what they’re doing. So for us, that’s a lot of what we do. You’ll go and assess what they’ve actually got and if they need it. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. And I assumed in today’s world too is if you know you’re going to this part of the country or some place in the world, there’s pre work that goes on too. So, like, I know people that travel that may wanna start investing in that, right, that they get a pre travel plan. So if you’re gonna go overseas, maybe a a company like yourselves or other ones, another guy I know. They will go ahead and pre plan your trips on which part of the the town to go to and which part not to. And, you know, transportation to have versus not have. Right? Speaker Alana Stott: Yeah. And and, you know, what what me and Dean try and do is make your life as happy and as easy as possible because the worst the worst thing that can is when you engage security is the the fear of god into on a daily basis about how dangerous the world is. And that’s That’s not what we’re doing. I mean, we’ve got three kids and we raise those kids to be security aware. They’re not in fear. They’re just aware of their surroundings and their conscience that they’ve They’ve got this, you know, peripheral vision that a lot of people are kinda lacking now. And what that’s what we’re trying to teach your appliance. So, yeah, we’ll do full planning on where they’re going. You know, sometimes going to Africa, on a a safari, we’ll wanna do a full check on what it is they’re doing where they’re going hotels they’re staying at. But what we’re doing as well is we’re giving them advice on their social media use, and and if they’re Stott real time or when they’re posting, how they’re posting it often I’ve looked at new clients, and before I would even meet I could look at, look at just their public profile page, and I could tell you where their kids go to school, what time they leave, where they live, where normal hangout is, you know, I can find out so much about them just by what they’re putting on the internet themselves. So what we’ll try to do is say that we don’t some celebrities want to do that, so we don’t want to stop them. But what we wanna do is say, well, you don’t need to post it on the second that you’re there, or if you’ve of your house, you know, not have the house number or not have the location on or then we’ll look at their children because their children are often usually the ones that people will look at to get information. And so many times, we can find kids with Snapchat location services turned on or you know, school jumpers and images. There’s so many things that we go through. A big a big part of what we do is child online exploitation as well. So that’s a a big part of our business. Yeah. And Speaker Brett Gilliland: that’s all these kids know. I mean, you think about it. Right? I mean, we didn’t grow up with that stuff, but they do. And we talk to our kids about that. It’s it’s crazy. It’s scary. I find it crazy too. This Airbnb thing I see they’re doing now is where these celebrities are renting their houses out and you can come and stay at the back of their house. I mean, obviously, this is some sort of partnership, but I would think there’d have to be security involved in that. Have you seen that? Speaker Alana Stott: I actually haven’t seen that. You know, this sounds a bit scary. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. I saw like Ashton Kutcher and, I can’t think of his wife’s name. They have some farmhouse there in California. And, like, you can rent it and they’ll be there. Like, you can rent, like, the guest house or something. I’m like, that doesn’t sound Right. But anyway, that’s for another podcast, I guess. So let’s let’s, change the subject here and, let’s talk about, success. How do you define that? And, what does it mean to you? Speaker Alana Stott: Well, you know, we’ve been through so much over the years, I guess. When we can sit down with our kids and we know that what we’re doing isn’t affecting them in any negative way. I think that’s when we know that we’re we’re was successful. What we do on a daily basis can be so varied. It can be, you know, from doing the security work, Dean’s film and a TV show in Mexico. Right? Now, we can be, doing things about human trafficking with the kids. We’re doing something every day, but as long as I can sit down at night and sit down and Stott, are they happy? Are they safe? Are they, you know, following the right path? And that to me is is success. I know that the the answer that the it might be to do with financial, but that is that means absolutely nothing to our family. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. Yeah. I think it’s true. I mean, I think you’re young and professional, that’s what you think about. But as you grow and mature, hopefully, with your career, it’s, it’s more than that. And that’s why I always ask the question because for me, success can certainly be part of that can be financial, but I think there’s a bigger picture there with, you know, time with family, time with friends. You know. Speaker Alana Stott: I Do you if you focus on the financial side of it, I think that might end up being a failure for you because I think you’ve got to look at you know, what is happiness, what is gonna make you sit down every night and say, you know, I’m I’m good here. This this is awesome. And I don’t think having piles of money is ever gonna actually do that. I think, you know, they’re seeing that the kids are happy, seeing that every day we’re doing something positive to to benefit the world. If we we’re seeing those things. And I think that success isn’t those financial gains come. I I do believe fight fully in putting out the universes to exactly what neat. And I think that, you know, often I’m asked how do you how do you do the things you do? How do you get the network that you’ve got? You know, you’re out there. I think if you want something, it’s what have you got to offer other people? You know, I say that, you know, don’t go looking for what they can do for you. What can you do for person. And if you’re if you’re doing it expecting something in return, then don’t do it. Just just don’t do it for Stott give, and it will come back. Speaker Brett Gilliland: I hundred percent agree with that. What you put out will come back. Be careful what you put out. Right? Talk about the gift of high expectations. I assume you do that as a as a parent, but also just for yourself, when you hear the gift of high expectations, what comes to mind for you? Speaker Alana Stott: Do you know, we we fought this really terrible habit in this family of never celebrating our successes. Every time we achieve something, it doesn’t of your breaking records. I I got my MB from King Charles last month, and we didn’t stop to celebrate anything. And we when are we gonna do it? And I was actually speaking to a friend of ours bedros, and he was saying that that this mindset that we’ve got doesn’t allow us. To celebrate because we’re at the end. We’re not at the the end game, so we keep going because that might be like a little ticking block, but we’ve got next one to achieve. We’ve got the next one to achieve. I I I believe that in our household, we all think that exactly the same way. We we do have to Stott. We’ll wait a second to tie five each other. Okay. Next. What we’re doing now? Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. So what was that award you got again? Speaker Alana Stott: It was an MB, a member of the most excellent order of the British empire. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Wow. So tell us about that. What is that? That’s a big deal? Speaker Alana Stott: Yeah. I received it. So it was a King Charles’ first award, and it was for my services to vulnerable women and mental health health awareness. So it was it’s I believe it was for the work that I when I speaking to him when I received it was for the work within the human trafficking. So, I don’t know exactly what it gets you, but I got a little medal and got Stott to meet him in July. Speaker Brett Gilliland: And, nice little weekend with the family there. Right? Speaker Alana Stott: Yeah. It was lovely. Actually, the day he got coronated in Gilliland, so there was a second coronation firm Scott. So we had a full day. Lovely. Speaker Brett Gilliland: That’s awesome. Talk about your book. She who dares. I know that recently came out. So let’s, spend a little time on that. Brag on that book for a minute. Speaker Alana Stott: Yeah. She really dares came from so Dean wrote his book after the bike arrived the rent list. And when he wrote that, I’m obviously featured a little bit in that. So a few people have said, well, when’s the line? Is book coming I’ve actually always I’ve been writing since I was a little girl. I just Stott when mom died, and actually then during COVID, I picked it up again and thought I’m gonna gonna and as I was writing Shihu bears, and I was writing stories about some of the things at times, like, I talked to people about it, and they were like, that happened to me or I’d been through the same thing, and I was having these conversations. And I was like, I was nervous about putting the book out because you’re literally putting out your life to to the world and the more Speaker Brett Gilliland: vulnerable I spoke. Speaker Alana Stott: Yeah. More of people I spoke to, the more I was like, no, this does need to be shared. And it’s been great. Like, every time I’m receiving a message about somebody who’s been through something similar or, you know, that hasn’t really told other people about what they’re going through or they’re struggling with some and and they’re able to read it and pull from it. That’s such a blessing to be able to do that. So Speaker Brett Gilliland: how have you through all that? I mean, through the blessings and the success and you know, obviously, we talk a lot about success on the circle of success. But how do you how do you find yourself to dig yourself up out of a hole? Pick yourself up off the ground. Right? You get knocked down. We gotta get right back up. How do you do that personally to find success in your life? Speaker Alana Stott: I in high task for money, the the money books that I’ve wrote, I talk a lot about failure because I I do see failure as the stepping stones are your is a blessing. We’re learning every single time. We’re all we’re only failing in your research, Heather. Our our knocks. The one thing that I found from I I I I fail. I put myself up, but I go through it. And it’s it’s not always easy. I always give myself a little bit of time. I give myself a twenty especially with the big stuff. Some of them big happens, Deanel always say, take a breath, sleep, and then deal with it. Normally within twenty four hours of fix that or came up with a solutioner. But I also think forgiveness is a big one. I hear a lot of people holding on to anger and resentment and the pain of things that they’ve been through. I I feel like I forgive I’ve always felt like I can forgive a lot easier, and I don’t hold on to any resentment anger. I think it just so weight you that seeing people do I’ve seen how Speaker Brett Gilliland: — Speaker Alana Stott: Yeah. — sad to make them and how long it can make them. I feel like you don’t maybe necessarily need to the the evil that someone’s put on you doesn’t need to stay with you. You can release that. You can get rid of it and then put it away from you. Forgive that. Forgive what’s happened and move on Speaker Brett Gilliland: So how do you do that though? So I mean, that’s easy to say, I think. Right? And you had experience with that. But if I’m a person right now that’s in this dark moment and they’re having this issue at work or at home, I think they might say, yeah, right. My deal’s different. So how do I put it away? How do I just put it away? Put it in a box, put it in a shelf and move on? How do I do Speaker Alana Stott: listen, the more the more it stays with you, the more it’s gonna hold on to everything that you could possibly be in the future and the more you’ve written. It’s it’s not easy to say. What you’ve just done to me was first thing, but I’m gonna forgive you and I’m gonna move on. But you have to do it for yourself and your family because every every minute that that’s holding on to you in and the pain and the resentment and the hatred, it’s gonna go on to the next generation as well. And I don’t care if it’s to do with, you know, sexual assault of its PTSD, if it’s, you know, somebody’s robbed you, whatever it might be. If you’re holding on to that anger and pain and hatred and all those hard negative feelings inside you, it is going on to your next generation one hundred percent. So to say that it’s not that easy to let go of, it’s your responsibility to let go of it. It’s your responsibility for the next. You’re you’re a little people to say, no, we’re gonna Stott gonna do it. And, yeah, it’s it’s it’s not easy thing. I know so many people who who kind of cling on to the anger for dear life because it’s almost it’s become part of them. You have to find that outlet to pull it. For me, I’m always looking at the future. I’m looking I’m looking at the bigger picture. I’ve got three little people that hundred percent need me to guide them along the way. But there’s also a world of people out there that that need help. Every single day, I see people that need help. And every time I feel anger, resentment or pain anything. It stops me being able to help them. So I look at it. It’s not about me. It’s about everyone else around me and everything I can’t do. So if you’re kind of holding on to it, I hate to say it. It can be a little bit selfish, so let it go. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. Again, that letting go part is that it’s a self talk do you think? I mean, how do you can truly convince yourself? Because, I mean, I’ve had those issues that follow you around a little bit. And I think I’m pretty good at shrugging them off. I call it the bounce back theory where the most successful I’ve seen, people that I’ve seen, get bad news, but they bounce back really, really quickly. Right? But then you also have people to hold on to it for days. So, again, I would ask almost the same question that was how? Like, am I How do I release that to where it doesn’t become part of my everyday life? Speaker Alana Stott: Again, I mean, I can always speak from me, and I can say that I’ve seen people have gone through some of the most horrendous things I’ve dealt with people in awful circumstances. And I never say that my pains worse than everybody else. So I think I I hear that a lot that people think, oh, yeah, you know, that it’s about the fact that you didn’t get as bad as, like, I see into I’ve watched people that have been through sexual assault in the household, but just take that. And maybe the girls have gone through it, but maybe the sons watched it or witnessed it or had to listen to it. He never maybe they experienced it, but I can say, I have watched the girls get over it, and the and the guys struggle to get over it. Now whose pain was worse, but who was going through worse. I don’t think there’s any way to say who went through worse, but one’s managed to get over it and one’s still struggling to get past it. And I think that the the people that have seen pull through it have got a higher purpose. They’ve got other things that are more important than their pain that they went through. And I I do feel like if we could get out and we can see that there’s so much more that you’re needed for. You can’t be stuck there. It’s have to keep moving forward. The the yeah. Do I still feel pain from things that have gone on the path? Yeah. But I don’t give myself time to think about it. I feel like I’ll use that energy and know that I was put through those tests for a reason. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. Yeah. So what so what would you tell yourself now? I mean, knowing that stuff now and getting to their side of some pretty, you know, horrific things in your life. What advice would you give that 10:15, twenty year younger person, younger self? Speaker Alana Stott: I go back a lot, you know, I’ll do if I’m doing a lot of meditation to kinda do like to go back to them, give them a little hug from my older self. And I think that I feel like if we if we done that a bit more as well, that we can go back and, you know, see people criticizing themselves a lot, you know, we can we can critical about our bodies who we are. And I often say, like, go to your, like, deep state and go back to that little girl or, like, little boy and say that same thing to them. It’s a lot more difficult. To criticize that way. So for me, it would be just you are you are, it sounds so cliche and so cheesy, but you are enough, like, kids right now are competing themselves to absolutely everything inside of there, and it’s really sad. And for for Little Elana, first while I would just give her huge amounts of hugs and tell her that she is special and that she is required in this earth for so much more than what she’s going through right now. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. That’s great. Just a big hug. Right? Sometimes you just need a big hug. Speaker Alana Stott: Yeah. Yeah. Speaker Brett Gilliland: My son needed a big hug. My second son turned sixteen this past weekend, and it was Labor Day yesterday. And so the DMV was closed. He was supposed to get his driver’s license today. And, then something went wrong the system because it needed three business days. Well, Labor Day doesn’t count as a business day. So we had to give him a big hug today. But my point to that story is Sometimes we get disappointing news. Right? And I’m a firm believer in, yes, it’s okay to be disappointed. It’s okay that you’re mad that you’re not getting your driver’s license. Let’s also try to flip the script on that and say, you know what? But there’s a plan for that. Right? It was raining pretty hard this morning. Maybe god did put you in a in a vehicle during and doing your test during that. Right? So always trying to find, in my opinion, that that silver lining, that one thing when I’m disappointed, of why the plan was. It is what it is. The plan’s written. Now I just gotta deal with it. Again, okay to be upset, but I gotta deal with it. Thoughts on that. Speaker Alana Stott: Hundred percent. Like, you’re meant to be where you’re meant to be when you’re meant to be there. It’s it’s all there is another planet, and that disappointment of the, you know, I was gonna buy that house from your sales fell through or or that happened for a reason. And and you’ll know that 05:10 years, you’re just backing Well, imagine if we’d done that and that had happened and that had gone through. Yeah. Usually usually it becomes clear eventually. And I think just in the process, you know, put in the work, do what you need to do to make it happen. And then if it’s not happening, and you’ve got an ability to change it, then go for it. But things that the driving license plates is shut, but also understand that deep my husband’s got a real terrible habit of comparing his situation to our twelve year old daughter who can’t go to the mall that day because a friend, you know, has to go somewhere Gilliland then she’s stuck at home and she can’t go to tomorrow, and it’s the worst thing in the world. And then Dino’s, you know, Dean gave the list of things that he’s currently dealing with, well, you know, there’s people stuck in Afghanistan. I’m trying to evacuate and there’s this, and that much your problems. Right. This is as big as that. So we got to My Speaker Brett Gilliland: my problems are bigger than your twelve year old going to the mall problem. But still for her, that’s her Afghanistan in getting somebody out of their problem. Right? You you mentioned meditation a little bit ago. So, walk us through that. A lot of people listen to that or listen to this. We talk about it all the time. How do you meditate? Why has it been so important in your life? Speaker Alana Stott: So this was something that one thousand percent did not come easy to me. I found it really, really difficult to just be present with myself. And then I read, the warrior mindset, and I I learned a little bit more about the the way the samurai worked, and that was something that really resonated with me. I I loved how were able to switch it on and off, and the everything I’d seen about meditation up to them was about, you know, sitting for twenty minutes, sitting for thirty minutes, having all that I really struggled with that. What I liked about the the samurai method was being able to switch it on instantly and switch between your waves. Really, really quickly and just have those moments and how I’ve used that now is when I’m feeling that overwhelm everything’s too much here. There’s so much going on. I can just do that little moment of just bringing myself back, sat in and myself, and then, okay, we can move. Then, yeah, we can do the twenty minute ones, or we can do, you know, give ourselves some real me time, but I feel like those little instant moments are Speaker Brett Gilliland: — Yeah. — Speaker Alana Stott: better for me for me. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. I I would agree. I think I’ve had to learn the years. If you told me sit down and just like kind of breathe or think about your now don’t think for twenty minutes, it’s impossible. But I I I what I have found is I’ve built that muscle up that five minutes is more than enough time to change your life with meditation. Speaker Alana Stott: Yeah. And Speaker Brett Gilliland: then you’ll get used to doing ten and fifteen and is, but I still don’t sit down for twenty minutes and just meditate. Right? I’m I’m at 05:10, maybe fifteen, if I’m lucky, Speaker Alana Stott: just Speaker Brett Gilliland: because my brain goes to me of different places. Speaker Alana Stott: And I think you’ve got to understand what the purpose of doing it is. For me, it is just to re center myself and pull myself back in and just just, you know, breathe everything together again and, okay, tackle it again. And sometimes I might need that bit longer, and sometimes that moment will do. So it’s it’s up to finding your own positioning, but I’d I’ve never, yeah, I’ve never been a fan of the plane of Rachel here every day at 10:00. I wanna sit down through — Right. Speaker Brett Gilliland: — Speaker Alana Stott: twenty minute, you know, that’s not me. I need to be able to do it. Do it sporadically and on the move. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Do it on your time? Yes. So if I were to follow you around, with a camera for a few days and see something numerous things maybe that that are day in, day out. You do not fail on those. You will you will not miss those. Are there any habits in there that you think are important people to know? Speaker Alana Stott: I’m making my bed, but something that I’m I think it was Edmund Craven who wrote the book, make your own bed. And I’ve followed it ever since and every single day without fail that bed is and I think that it’s such an important habit that the kids do have Dean does because it does, as as he says, it gives you that first achievement of the day, but it gives you that for for me to see an unmade bed, it’s almost like you are setting yourself up for of a failure for the day. Like, you’ve, like, you’ve not got that discipline and that this is this is what I’m gonna do for the rest of the day is make sure that it’s all done. So I’ve I’ve I’ve and the principal kept I mean, now that make her bed. I make my bed if I’m in a hotel. I make my bed if I’m in somewhere this place doesn’t matter. The bed is made when we get out because we’re up and we’re ready to go. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. Well, it’s fine. I was smiling when you said that because I was on this golf trip. I’ve mentioned a couple times, last week. I’m with, you know, me and seven other guys, so eight of us out there. And, we all had our own rooms in this little, like, cottage thing and when the guys comes by and we’re talking and I’m starting to make my bed and he’s like, you make your bed? We’re on, like, a trip like this. I’m like, Well, yeah, man. I’m like, and I wasn’t perfect. I’m sure I missed it a day or two while I was there, but I’m like, yeah. I’m like, even if I play bad golf today, I I don’t do well, whatever. I’ve at least accomplished that and I come home to a nice tidy clean room. It just feels better. Right? Because I and I do believe that. I know it’s silly to be talking about making a bed, you know, our kids were like that. We’re like that with them too. You at least accomplish something and you come back to a tidy space because if you have a bad day, man, least the last thing I wanna do is come back to a place that’s just disheveled already. Speaker Alana Stott: Yeah. And there’s something about your mindset. The bed the bed then goes to the room to to everything else, to your towel, you know, on the on the floor. Yeah. You know, you can take your own responsibility. Even if you do have a housekeeper or help these are your responsibilities. You know, you pick up your own clothes, you tidy up your own room, you put your your things away. Everything in our house, everything is is ship shape. You know, when we see, when we see messes, I think it just it it transcends through the rest of your life when you’re leaving a mess and it’s kind J. It goes to everything else too. So — Yeah. Speaker Brett Gilliland: — Speaker Alana Stott: Stott your own stuff out. Yeah. Speaker Brett Gilliland: What mother Theresa say? Front, sweep your own front porch. If everybody did that, there will be a lot better this. Right? Speaker Alana Stott: It’s a thousand percent true. Where I’m from in Aberdeen, I know my great auntie Molly, who’s my biggest inspiration. She died twenty twenty when she was ninety five. And — Wow. Speaker Brett Gilliland: — Speaker Alana Stott: she she was the one who kind of taught me what some of those little tiny little Abridine used to be such a clean little town. It’s a city. Sorry. But the the the main street was Stott, you know, everybody cleaned their own front pavement. And now it’s almost like that’s not my responsibility. I’m not touched I’m not doing it. And then there’s just garbage all over the streets in there, and it’s just been left to, there’s a, a generation that they knew what they were doing there. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Yeah. So, last couple of questions here. If you, when you hear the words and and see this symbol right here in the microphone for those watching, achieving a future greater than your past. What comes to mind when you hear that? Speaker Alana Stott: That’s probably similar to my keep keep moving forward where I’m from is one thousand percent where I Stott, but it’s not who I’m gonna be and what I’m doing in the future, you know, The future for me every day is bigger and bigger, and it includes more and more about helping other people when that the main purpose for us for us. Speaker Brett Gilliland: I love it. Alright. I’m pulling my phone out here to get your Instagram up. We’re gonna play the the Instagram game. So pick a number between one and ten. Speaker Alana Stott: Four. Speaker Brett Gilliland: K. Four. Pick a number between one and three. Two. Well, this is perfect. I mean, she did not pay me to do this, but this is it’s the post was your of your book, the cover of your book. And it says, have you got your copy yet? She who dares she who dares out now. Kelsey Sharon. She’s got a little post on here about it. She’s excited. So again, talk about that. Why should somebody go out and pick it up and read it? Speaker Alana Stott: Gosh. Kelsey is my number one fan. That’s that’s awesome. You know, it’s just it’s a book that is good for for men and women. You know, I love that I’ve had people from Jack Carr reviewing it too, Kelsey, to it doesn’t matter who you are. It’s got something in it for for everyone I hope. I hope that it gives a look. Or as you say, it’s the main theme that I’m getting about the book pick yourself back up. Yeah. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Well, and that’s true. Right? Because if you get knocked down and you don’t get back up, well then you’re guaranteed a loss. So what’s the worst thing? Just get back up do it one more time. It works. So where can our listeners find more of you? Speaker Alana Stott: Every at allana dot com and allana dot across various, social media, YouTube, etcetera. We’ve just started our own podcast as well, which is behind the scene, which is releases on Monday, which is the eleventh. Speaker Brett Gilliland: Awesome. Yeah. Well, we will put that in the show notes and send people over there and, and we’ll check it out. Well, a lot of thanks so much for being with me today. It’s been awesome having you on the circuit of success.
