Chuck Hogan is the managing partner at Your Best Life, an organization helping people to elevate finance, family, fitness, and faith to maximize their best life through mentor strategizing, community and exclusive once in a lifetime experiences. Hogan’s unique background of sales, business, and relationship building gives him a rare perspective that enables him to successfully guide entrepreneurs, CEOs, and other top executives to new heights.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION
Brett Gilliland 00:02
Welcome to The Circuit of Success. I am your host Brett Gilliland, and today I’ve got Chuck Hogan, Chuck how you doing, man?
Chuck Hogan 00:08
Wonderful brother. Great to be here today.
Brett Gilliland 00:09
Great to have you. How’s beautiful Dallas, Texas?
Chuck Hogan 00:12
It is absolutely gorgeous. It is, I mean, it looked–– fall setting in.
Brett Gilliland 00:16
It is!
Chuck Hogan 00:17
High 50s, low 70s and it is freakishly gorgeous out.
Brett Gilliland 00:21
That’s awesome. So I’ll tell you good unseasonally warm I think here, for you know, today is Halloween day as we’re recording this and it’s, you know, it’s like almost 60 degrees. That’s good here in St. Louis. We’ll take it.
Chuck Hogan 00:33
Hey, if snow’s the alternative. Yes, the answer is yes.
Brett Gilliland 00:37
That’s right. That’s right. I’ve tried to think Dallas, was it two forks and a knife or two? What’s the name of the steakhouse there? I’ve been there a few times.
Chuck Hogan 00:46
Oh, my goodness. Yeah. Two Forks is a big one. If you’re in the barbecue that Hard 8 the feast, too I mean, seriously, if cattle is your game, then Dallas but again, St. Louis barbecue is ––
Brett Gilliland 00:59
So absolutely.
Chuck Hogan 01:00
You just say I’ll send you some of mine. If you’ll send me some of yours.
Brett Gilliland 01:04
All right, we’ll get on that man! So, well Chuck, you are the managing partner at Your Best Life. It’s an organization helping people elevate, which I love right here: finance, family, fitness, and faith before we started recording you and I we’re talking about our F’s, mine’s F to the fifth power, your faith, your family, your fitness, your fun, and your firm, which for me is work. But you and that’s what you do. So to maximize the best life through mentoring strategies, community exclusive, once in a lifetime experiences which I’m some sure we’ll get into. You’ve got a unique background: sales and business and relationship building, gives you a huge perspective on working with folks. So excited to dive into that today. But if you could Chuck, just maybe give us a little lay of the land and what’s made you the man you are today?
Chuck Hogan 01:47
Sure. You know, quite frankly, about 30 years ago, I decided that I’ve always been kind of a study of human behavior. But 22 years ago, when my wife and I found out, she was having our first child, I was like, Whoa, where’s the instruction manual? And I was like, Okay, I better get my act in gear and business had already been propagating successfully. But to be honest with you, Brett, I was like going, oh, you know how to be a better man. And it started really coming down to understanding why I do what I do. What moves me. And I realized that I had been filled through my out my childhood. I’m the son of a military family. So yes, 30 years in the Navy. I’m from Japan. Originally, my mom’s Japanese. My dad’s Irish. When I say Japanese and Irish. I’m talking 85 pounds or 11 and a half, portable. And then a redhead, blue-eyed Irish dad. I mean, so the real deal, the real deal. I mean, when you go melting pot, you’re like, the answer is yes. And so you asked and so I’ll just give it to you straight. I was very confused kid. Back in the 60s, lots of socio economic, I’ll say variances, but more so I’ll say racial barriers and living in Maine as a kid coming over from Japan. Charles Francis Hogan, a second named after my Irish grandfather, not looking very Irish. And in Japan, I’m half Japanese. So I’m not full Japanese. So I kind of felt like a kid without a country. So moving forward to when Cole, my son was born. I was like, man, there’s this guy named Tony Robbins. So I started spending some time with him and actually was involved with his environment for over 22 years. Just recently now it was a senior trainer, volunteer trainer I should clarify volunteer trainer for Mr. Robbins and what was cool about that is I got to see a lot of different parts of life but the same the same strategy kept playing out I see people going, “oh you know if I just learn one more thing I learned another way to make money or learn another tax strategy and other tax hedge” I go “okay, so you’ve got more money. What do you do with it?” They go, “I’m still not happy.”
Brett Gilliland 02:02
Yeah.
Chuck Hogan 03:56
And so I’ve met DECA incentive millionaires. I’ve met billionaires. Some of them are elated because they they’re living that life of contribution now and they knew how to give back. And God bless you and your wife, Julie, for doing what you do for cancer research and helping support families as a cancer conquerer myself, in ’09, that we’re talking about and experiencing it are very different things. And so my heart goes out to you and your lovely wife. My wife’s name is Julie, by the way as well.
Brett Gilliland 04:24
Ah, there you go.
Chuck Hogan 04:25
Hey, yeah, we married right, brother. I got the memo. That’s right. So quite frankly, your best life and the way I live my life is by a very simple tenant, you can be doing your best but not being your best. I choose to be my best. So every day I’ll do my best. And kind of a family motto and that’s it’s so simple, but living in you. Trusting in you, being you, delivers more of you. And that means exercising and prioritizing things like self care, eating healthy, working out, maintaining your health and vitality. Because if you don’t have the oxygen mask on you first you’re no good to anybody.
Brett Gilliland 05:03
Yeah, I love that. And so when I when I read that earlier, so let’s dive more into that statement you just made as you can do your best, and not be your best. Talk to me about that.
Chuck Hogan 05:14
Sure. So oftentimes, we’ll even ask people, and it’s a subconscious way of communicating. I’ve been certified in neurolinguistics programming and neurosis, conditioning, hypnotherapy for the better part of 20 years now. And what I can tell you is language patterns make a big difference. So when you ask someone how they’re doing, it’s a cognitive question. It’s a cognitive ask, you’re asking someone how they do. And so they go into process. Oh, how I do Oh, man, I’m busy. I’m busier than a one on wallpaper hanger. I got all kinds of things and stuff. I mean, my wife has a nickname for me on the weekends. And that’s Manny Laborie for manual labor, because I know what the honey do list is not going anywhere. So part of this is is that how do we clearly identify how we’re being because a call your life is how you feel? So if I asked you instead, and I got Brett, how are you feeling? You go, I’m grateful. I’m blessed. I’m happy. I’m elated. I’m contributory. I feel valued. So yes. And I have a very fundamental belief. I’m a very simple guy. I’ve really also migrated towards reducing all the waste, if you will. Or I’ll just say simplifying. My wife calls it drama reduction. And I go Yes. With three tweens. And in, you know, the proximity to in college and one at home still. Yes, sir. And so what I realized was, is that at our core, we’re all three years old still. We are when you’re three, you really only have three responses. Happy, sad, or okay. You start getting into school, and then you start going, Oh, I’m elated. I’m overjoyed. Oh, you know, I’m, I’m excited mom and dad is like, okay, great. And when you’re excited, does that make you feel happy? Yeah, when someone tells me oh, you know, if I felt more like a philanthropist, if I felt more contributory if I didn’t feel marginalized, like Okay, great. When you do feel marginalized, how’s that make you feel? Sad. Oh, but normally find these wonderful adjectives to go ahead and start to create layers of, you know, say balance I go. At the end of the day, your three, happy sad or okay.
Brett Gilliland 07:09
And that’s okay.
Chuck Hogan 07:10
Yeah, and the worst thing is living in, is okay. Because that’s survival. That’s, that is the you can’t measure what doesn’t move. And so when people I’m okay, and I go, okay, so you’re getting by they go, yes. Oh, you’re doing your best. Ah, okay. And I swear, realizing there’s a lot of people we’re living in this marginalized sense of well being, which is getting by, doing your best. There’s no thrive in their ideology. There’s no expansion. So if the premise holds true, and we say progress equals happiness, which I do believe that that’s any progress a millimeter or a mile. Of course, we’re shooting for the mob, but that millimeter could have been the deciding factor. That was the spark that was the you know, jump off point. I go, okay, cool. So a millimeter or a mile progress equals happiness, what feeds progress? When I got this, shifted everything.
Brett Gilliland 08:04
And so I hear you say that about the feeling part. I wrote that down, as you know, more asking people how you feel versus how you’re doing. I love that. But at the same time, Travis Thomas, who’s the performance coach for the men’s national team for getting ready for the World Cup? Yep, he was on a couple of weeks ago, and he talked about feelings aren’t an indicator of performance. And what he meant by that was, if I ask you how you’re feeling fired up, you know, I’m, I’m great. I’m gonna go out and score this goal, or I’m gonna do that. I mean, it doesn’t really matter what you feel right. But I think it’s a difference when we’re going out to perform in a soccer field or in a business meeting. Yeah, it surely matters. But that’s just how I’m feeling.
Chuck Hogan 08:42
Yeah, but that’s where standards shift. So I’ll put it a different way. Well, let’s test the theory. Okay, so you’re driving in your car. And all of a sudden, someone cuts you off. I mean, like, they just rip across from the inside lane all the way in, they exit the off ramp, and they literally almost clip your car.
Brett Gilliland 09:00
Yep.
Chuck Hogan 09:00
And people go, Oh, that jerk that moron and I go, Oh, wait, wait, wait. So you had a feeling? See? Here’s the difference. Feelings always come first. Yeah, they do. You think about it afterwards. Because if I say that was a father whose son was hit by a car, he realized that’s the only exit he can take to get him to the emergency room to save his life. They go, Oh, my gosh, is he all right? Wait a second. The second ago, he was a jerk. So the mind distorts delete and generalizes information is the only way you survive, because you have billions of terabytes of data that are flowing through you at any second. And they go oh, that’s baloney. I said really? What are you hearing right now? What do you feel on your skin where focus goes energy flows. So if all of a sudden we change where the focus flows, you change the entire experience. I said, Okay, wait. So how do you feel about that? So there are some guiding principles, and I agree with what this coach says. But the truth is you are how you feel. Because here’s the deal. We were told as children, you can do anything you put your mind to. Not true. Because your mind doesn’t know what’s real or perceived. And on the other side, where focus goes, energy flows. So if I were to say you, Brett, as you look around that beautiful studio, I don’t want you to look for anything that’s brown. In fact, I want you to ignore the brown, as you look around, don’t look for the brown. In fact, I know you’re an achiever. So you’ll make bay stuff brown too. Now, if I ask you to close your eyes, I said, Tell me everything that’s blue. You may be able to guess at one or two things, but you will not be able to say with certainty what they were why? Because your focus was against going towards something I asked you not to look for them to do. Yeah. So when people are trying to move away from things, that’s why if you’re trying to move away from problems, you get more problems. So the focus should be the antithesis, which is prosperity, opportunities, what feeds progress is possibilities. Some people might call that compelling future.
Brett Gilliland 11:02
Yeah I was just gonna say, so how do we do that? Notice, right, so how do I focus on that and you said to your compelling future, you can see this f greater than p, this is your future greater than your past. That’s our firm’s mission, it’s my mission, it is to help people achieve a future greater than your past. And so when you hear that, and based on everything, you just saying, how do you slow down enough to do that, though, when maybe you don’t want to or it’s a bad crappy day out, you’re in the dumps? How do we do that?
Chuck Hogan 11:29
So there’s a couple of ways. First thing is, is that anytime we change any one of these three, I’ll say, aspects of a behavior. And I’m going to borrow just from behavioral sciences for a moment, it’s called the triad you have physiology, focus, and language. So there’s a rule with this physiology first. So one of the things that people do is they’ll get up and start moving their body. In fact, some of the most productive business people cannot sit at a desk and have a conversation. They can’t they have to be moving around. These are the people that put the wear patterns in their area rugs around their conference table. Why? Because it seems like they’re running laps, but they are engaged and in a state of productivity. Motion creates emotion. If we want to test the theory, you’ve been doing this, since you were a child, before you could speak, you would have a physiological response. If you are hungry, you wet yourself or you were tired. What would that be? Well, if you were happy, you smile. If you were sad, you might have pounded and cried. And if you were okay, you just sat there staring off into deep space, waiting for one of those other things to happen. Now, why is this important to note? Well, unconsciously, we are conditioned from the time that we’re zero to seven years old, as to what our I’ll just say “value systems” are, we inherited them from the environments that we were raised in. So anything that we heard loud noises, flashes, things, there are people who go back into childhood regression, and are going where did you become so sensitive to light or loud noises? And they’re going, Oh, you know, I don’t know. And then they go back and they go, Oh, my gosh, I heard these things. How old were you? I think I was 18 months old. Wait, what? But it’s in your unconscious? It’s throughout you the cognitive mind. Again, because it distorts elite and generalizes information will selectively get rid of things. So to your point, how do we get back to center two ways real easy. In fact, Navy SEALs do this. And those that are trained in elite, stressful exercises, they actually will do what they call box breathing. Yeah, two to one breathing. So box breathing is inhale for four, hold for four, exhale for four, and hold for four. And they’ll do cycles of this. And what they started finding was their heart rate slows down, the EKG and the EEG of the brain, the waveform of the brain and the heart, actually go into sinus rhythm together. So the coolest thing when we slow down, the tendency in the human condition is though, when things happen, we speed up, we put our foot all the way down on the gas pedal like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, if you’re on a windy road that you’ve never driven on before, and it’s foggy, you don’t push down on the on the gas pedal, foot off the gas pedal and you become more acutely aware by doing what slowing down doesn’t mean stopping doesn’t mean retarding your growth and moving backwards. It means you slow down because all pain that we affiliate to is we’re in the past, all of it. All fears in the future. What’s coming up ahead. Where’s the connection? Love contribution. Now, favorite quote from an unbelievable philosopher. “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. So be grateful for today because it’s a gift called the present.” I will quote this great philosopher, Master Oogway, Kung Fu Panda.
Brett Gilliland 14:54
That’s right. That’s right. Yeah, that’s right. So I mean, are you, you or your clients, whoever that may be, are you like I use a journal, I use a black journal. I’m constantly in my journals writing down and dreaming, strategizing and stuff. So is that a process that you use to go through that?
Chuck Hogan 15:11
Every day? In fact, there’s a simple two and a half minute process that I love going through with clients. Because what we started noticing was, is that most people account for their finances. Most people do not account for their time. Yeah, in fact, most people throw away time. And they wonder why they don’t have enough net time to be able to accomplish the things that they aspire to achieve. And I go, Okay, well, tell me, where are you investing your time? And they go, oh, man, you know, I have a couple calls today. Okay, well, how much time you have blocked out, they go, Oh, I’ve got our, I’ve got an hour. I was like, well, whoa, it takes an hour for you to have a phone conversation. They go, Oh, no, that was only five minutes. And I go, what do you do for the other 55 minutes. They don’t account for their time, they just throw it away. And here’s the interesting part. And I’m sure Brett, you hear this all the time. And that is fill your mind with resourceful and nourishing information. Because the way that the brain functions is it doesn’t forget anything that it hears, the difference is is whether your cognitive and you’ve actually decided this is worthwhile data. So people go to an event or go to a seminar. In fact, they’ll even go to become coaches, you know, they go, I’m going to be a coach. That’s awesome. Good for you. Then they go, Yeah, man. And after this weekend, I’m going to be certified as a life coach. And I’m like, okay, they go, you don’t seem like convinced. I said, Well, I’m not like, Well, dude, you’re you’re just you’re just jelly. You’re jealous. And I go, Sure. That’s it. And they go, Okay, wait, I know, you too. Well, Chuck, what what? What’s your take? I said, Well, let me ask you something. If you went to flight training for three days, never flown a plane before. And you’re gonna go ahead and tell me that you’re going to learn enough in three days, where you could not only fly, you’d be willing to take your entire flammer family up in a plane solo, and then mirror and teach your wife and your kids how to fly this plane. That’s what you’re telling me after three days that you have the aptitude, the skill, set, the experience, the knowledge, the saturation, I said, you have a marinated enough in this, you have a limited amount of knowledge. And based on your current life conditions, you’re making a decision. And so would you do this with like, going into an investment and spending all your life savings, your kids college fund? And they go Oh, heck no. Is it? Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, but you’re willing to go out and take on the title of someone who’s a mentor, a coach, and treat, teach other people. I said, Okay, great. Um, you’re on your third marriage, you gotta teach them about marital status. Give it a fruitful relationship. You’re estranged from your kids, you’re gonna teach them about child rearing? How many successful businesses if you run? Can you go ahead and tell me about vertical integrated marketplaces and supply chain management and, and what C suites levels are looking for? Can you tell me about the sales and marketing of your bid? And then I go, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, dude dude dude. I’m just a coach. I go, Whoa, that’s why I prefer to mentor strategist. Like, within organization, you have to have lived the lifestyle man, you have to have to like––
Brett Gilliland 18:13
You have to have the street cred, right? I mean, it’s I’ve been doing this for two decades. And I know more about this stuff than anybody can learn in a three day workshop to try to go be this life coach. And that stuff drives me nuts. And so but I think there is something on a different topic for that is, is the how do you get that out, though? Right. So how do you get that life experience out of our brains?
Chuck Hogan 18:37
Yes.
Brett Gilliland 18:37
And to the people that need to hear it? And how do we help them make an impact? There’s people driving right now that are stuck someplace, right? And whether they want to admit it or not, they’re miserable. I know, for me, I was stuck for a while. And like you made this comment earlier as my income was going like that. Yep, my job satisfaction was going on. And I took a massive risk to leave and start a firm and but I don’t think everybody’s going to do that. Right. And nor should maybe everybody do that. So how do you get unstuck, if you will, and try to turn that trajectory around to have more joy and laughter in life versus maybe pain and anger in life?
Chuck Hogan 19:13
Well, and you hit the nail on the head, your your beautiful segue, well, you’re just letting these things out, man, I love, again, Sage experience and wisdom. So part of this is, is that people will do more to avoid pain than they’ll do to give themselves pleasure. And so there’s a difference between what I’ll say our natural skill sets are and our adaptive skill sets. So folks have been educated through schooling and modern education. Now, what is your ranking in school? What is your pedigree? Where do you stand in your class? And it’s like, oh, and then What school did you go to? Are you from an Ivy League school and all of a sudden it’s like, Whoa, that makes a difference. Or did you go to Eastern Illinois University or Northwestern did you go to the––
Brett Gilliland 19:55
Ivy is the Harvard of the Midwest, just so you know, Eastern Illinois University.
20:00
No,
Chuck Hogan 20:00
No, no, no, I’m with you. And the deal is, is that it’s, the answer is yes. That education is education. And what happens is, is that how is it exercised? So to your point sharing is caring. There are a lot of people that have shelf health knowledge. They have books and books and books, they’ve been to seminars, they’ve been at courses, and they haven’t gone back into any of that data. And furthermore, it’s kind of like having a home gym. If your apparatus is used for hanging clothes on.
Brett Gilliland 20:29
Yeah.
Chuck Hogan 20:30
Then it’s being misused. Why do I say this? Because the equipment was made for a purpose, but it’s being used for other alternatives. And they go, Oh, no, it’s yes, and I go, Oh, so you’re on the treadmill while your clothes are hanging off the drying? I don’t think so. Because at least the way I run, there’s no way that clothes could hang on that treadmill.
Brett Gilliland 20:49
Right.
Chuck Hogan 20:50
Why do I say this? It’s only functional if you use it, apply it. And it doesn’t mean that you’re proficient with it. The first time you play tennis, you don’t pick up the rack go. Oh, yeah. Beonborg. Jimmy McEnroe? You know? Nadel? No, the answer is no. It’s like, oh, my gosh, that was a whoopin. One set like, cook me. And it’s like, okay, great, or golf, for that matter. I go, I love what Robin Williams say, he goes, Hey, you know what we’re going to do? We’re going to put a whole tooth, 200 yards away. And we’re going to make you walk it. And every time you hit it, you think you’re having a stroke. And so why do I share this with the ordinary things done consistently produce extraordinary results. But we got to move away from thinking that if we put our mind to it, we can achieve it. It’s what you put your heart to. It’s what you decide has enough value to you that it aligns with your morals, your rules and your outcomes. And I’m not talking about goals. Here’s the fallacy. Most people will prognosticate goals that aren’t even theirs. They’re not even there’s Oh, well, we should have a 200% increase in revenue this year. And my god, based on what? They go oh, well, last year, we had 100% revenue growth and I go yes. What do you attribute that to? We got lucky on two big orders? I go. Okay, are those orders coming in this year? Can you count? No, but dude, I am hoping that we’re gonna get some more big orders. I go, are you marketing towards that? And not really. Hopium is the biggest addictive drug way more than sugar. People hoping that prosperity is going to fall into their lap. I go, hoping to win the lotto they go, that would be awesome. Did you buy tickets? Nope. You’re hoping someone’s gonna give you one of those too? If you’re not an active participant, your own salvation, you need to slow down and reevaluate what matters most to you in life. And feeling way more than things and stuff come and go. You and I experienced this as parents. Brett, how many times did your kids have a want?
Brett Gilliland 22:57
Yeah, a lot.
Chuck Hogan 22:58
Yeah. But that doesn’t mean that their needs were being ignored? Yeah. Did they ever go without shoes, clothing, food, water, you know, athletic equipment, academic, you know, utensils, books? No, they had everything they needed. What they want is different. You’re like, Oh, these Air Jordans are dead. My life would be brilliant, you know, if you like, going at $300 and they’re custom painted by LeBron, you know? Or, or, you know, Michael, like, yeah, they should be enshrine, not on your feet.
Brett Gilliland 23:32
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So what what what are you finding the people that you work with? And these are just the people that are the top of their game, no matter what industry that is, what let’s talk about daily choices. I think those are huge, right? Like, for me, one of the big one is foods. I just got done with lunch. I went there. Yeah, like I like french fries, you know, but today I chose the salad.
Chuck Hogan 23:56
Yep.
Brett Gilliland 23:57
And so But while that sounds easy to people that may or may not have that problem, it is not easy for some people. And it’s not easy maybe to get up at six o’clock and workout or do this or do that. So what are you finding the no-miss items are either for yourself, or the ones that you work with, or the best of their game?
Chuck Hogan 24:14
Three things, three things. And it centers around body, mind and spirit. What I started noticing was is that most people did not budget for themselves out of 24 hours. So here’s the one thing that’s a constant burn rate time. At midnight, a new day was born.
Brett Gilliland 24:34
Yep.
Chuck Hogan 24:35
You get to decide what you’re going to do with this 24 hours. So I started actually having clients color code their time. Anytime that is self care. That means sleeping, eating, showering, hygiene, any of that. That’s all in my coding purple time. Now, why is this important? Because self care is not selfish. It’s essential.
Brett Gilliland 24:57
Yeah.
Chuck Hogan 24:58
When you’re sleeping your brain is detoxifying. You’re actually eliminating waste out of your body that you don’t even realize. So why is this important? Because people get up exhausted and they go, Oh, you’re not sleeping well. So what’s troubling you because that means your unconscious mind is unsettled. So I figured out a way around this, I started urging clients I said, take two and a half minutes a day, it’s so fast and easy. So let’s start off in the morning, when you get up in the morning, as soon as your eyes open, you take a deep breath in your heart starts beating, thank the universe, because you get another day, you get another day, whatever your religious faith is, just know that the universe has your back. Because through the night, you unconsciously not consciously, your heart was beating, and you had an exchange of taking in oxygen out of the air, releasing carbon dioxide. And it’s like you’re alive, your alive.
Brett Gilliland 25:49
And you didn’t even know it.
Chuck Hogan 25:50
Didn’t didn’t elect it. So what if in the morning, you decided how you want to feel most often today? You just set it set the intention for the day, if that’s happy, sad, whatever. People who unintentionally picks that I go, there are some people who unconsciously pick sad, or they’ll pick the opposite which they’ll go, I just want to move away from pain and I go, okay, then what’s the opposite of that? Prosperity, opportunity, connection. Because here’s what I know. And this is factual. Five, there’s five human needs that are essential one air, you only got minutes without it. Two is water, you go days without it. Three is food, you’ll go weeks without it. Fourth is lodging. Why? Because if you have a place to lay your head at night, and you can actually detox and take care of yourself, home is where the heart is. And the last one is love and connection. Now there’s six essential human needs certainty. Some people call it security, or “the knowing” others, second is variety, what we call uncertainty, and there’s an old saying, the call your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty that you can comfortably live with. There is significance. Fourth is love and connection. And the last few are growth and contribution, which are more spiritual. But the reason why I share these is the only one that crosses over and both is love and connection, the human condition is, is that we have an absolute need to feel important, connected, and necessary. The challenge is, is that 90% of the people walking this planet are dissatisfied with themselves. And they judge themselves constantly. The reason why I went back in earlier in our conversation, most people are picking outcomes and goals. And they’re not even their own. And when they don’t meet them 100% The brain tells you 99.9% Really, dude, you didn’t have what it took to get it the point 1% and push it over the edge. You suck. Are you kidding me? Really, again, you always do this, you always fall short. we’re our own worst critics and we berate ourselves. So what happens with outcomes and goals, especially those that we don’t elect? We judge and then we try to back into an emotion of feeling and then we take mammoth action on it. And we wonder why there’s a gap here, which is called not fulfilling, frustration, aggravation, because our life conditions aren’t matching our expectations. And this isn’t even real. So what if, what if you threw all that away? And you just started with? How do I want to feel most often? Why? I want to feel happy contributory I want to feel loved. Okay, great. Why? Because that makes me happy. Awesome. Here’s the secret sauce. This allows you to hold on to anything. Anything that you hold valuable in near and dear. It’s all about a feeling or a why anything you do? Well, let’s go back to the soccer players. Why are they playing the game of soccer? They go Oh, because they get paid a lot of money. I said no, because they fell in love with a sport that fuels them that they are exceptional at. But here’s the difference. Mike Tyson said this and I love this. They asked him “Hey, Mike, how’s it feel to be the greatest of all time?” He goes, “I’m not the greatest of all time. Yeah, I’m not the greatest. I was a good boxer was a really good boxer.” And they go “Yeah, Mike, but like, You mean, like you and your prime?” He goes, “Yeah. I mean, I hurt people. I was really good at it. Gus saw that he started training me” and he goes, “You can be great. You can be great because I became great. But I wasn’t a good man. I was worth $500 million. And I wasn’t a good man.” He goes, “I’m a good man today.” He goes, “I’m worth maybe three $4 million. I’m a good man. I’m a good father, a good friend. Because I struggle everyday with good man. Those I didn’t have to struggle very hard to be a great boxer.” People can live in their talents. There’s a natural aptitude for it. And they living in that gift and then they get fostered through it. It’s like, oh, it’s so great. They’re so good to go. No. That’s why I have so much admiration for people who get out of like, very life altering conditions. So people go, Oh, you made it out of the hood. And I’m gonna go on oh my gosh, against all odds. And this person is now successful here like, why? Because their life conditions was not paralleled with their need their hunger, their desire, they go, I respect that every day and twice on Sundays. So to your point, when we move away from just the outcome, and we head in a direction, and here’s the beautiful part about direction, we even have a pointer finger before we go headed in the right direction. And I go, Okay, well, what happens? Because my mismatch, your brain sometimes goes, What if you’re heading the wrong direction I go, then yeah, of course, correct. You don’t have to go all the way back to the fork in the road and make a left at Alburquerque. Instead of a right. There’s this little thing called GPS. And now we have these maps. And this global positioning is like, you can actually figure out where the frick you are, and course correct from here now. And here’s the best part, all the experiences and the learnings and the lessons that you get from this, I found the best gas stations, you know, the cleanest restrooms and, and best taco stands and the bed and breakfast on these little outskirt roads I didn’t ever even know existed before. But there’s a challenge with this. And this goes to the heart of what you’re talking about with a soccer coach, we need to understand who we are. I’m a loving God, a gift from God, I have gifts and talents, I have a great sense of humor, I have a fast mind, I have the ability to speak and connect and communicate with people. I’m also really harsh on myself. So I’m going to move away from judging self, I’m going to be my best so I can do my best. I’m going to let go bereavement I’m going to let go of frustration and procrastination. Wow. Because now when I come up with this outcome and goal, it’s a full body experience, there is no gap. And then I can take mammoth action. So this fuels the opportunity of being able to have a very fulfilling lifestyle. But again, I’m going to go back, setting the inspiration or the incantation, the morning the intention for the day, whatever that might be. And here’s where it comes real. At the end of the day, just before you go to bed, you and take a minute and a half. So it was a minute the morning, maybe 30 seconds if you’re being you know, overtly conservative. A minute, a half a night USA, how do you feel most often today? Wow. What what happened that allowed me to feel this way? Well, yeah, I had some conflicts. We had some disagreements we had, you know, some some really challenging situations. But we got through it through clear, authentic communication by being honest by being present. The better part is how do I want to feel tomorrow. So before you go to bed, and you go into this unconsciousness, you actually set the intention. So you set that beacon at night before you go to bed. And as you close your eyes, you go to sleep you don’t wake up the next morning when you ask. So if I want to feel most often today, you can either affirm it, or you can shift it. The beautiful part is is that and now you’re beginning and ending your day purposefully. And it only takes moments.
Brett Gilliland 32:58
I mean, 1,000% agree with that. I’ve been doing that for years. I think it’s how we go to bed at night matters. You know, are you just crashing? You know, finishing your soda and going to bed? Are you you know, are you staying healthy, do whatever you need to be doing. But I think that self talk at the end of the day. It’s critically important because again, we talked about this earlier, but once you expand on what you focus on expands, right. And if I’m focusing on being the best version of myself, I’m focusing on making an impact tomorrow. And then I wake up and say the same thing. That’s my choice. Every day is my choice, right to go out and do that. And I’m putting it out in the universe. It happens yeah.
Chuck Hogan 33:38
Bear O’Brien said it. He goes that Today’s a gift Today’s a new day, how do I choose to spend it because it was blessed you with this 24 hours. And what I started realizing was is that most people devalue themselves to the point where everybody else is important. As parents, we live for our kids, we will sacrifice everything will move our schedules around, we’ll do what we get to do and need to do. And I go okay, so let’s look at that for a second. They go 20 out of 24 hours with 90 minutes a day was yours. unadulterated. Without any apology. It was yours. To feed your body, mind and spirit, I believe in a 3030 30 Move your body for 30 minutes, feed your mind for 30 minutes, feed your spirit for 30 minutes. So if that’s a meditation, if that’s in, you know, prayer, yoga, whatever the case might be for you to connect with self deeply and your Creator or the universe. Being the son of a Buddhist and a Roman Catholic. It was like, Okay, thank you God. And I’m gonna come back as a doorknob. You know, it’s like, what’s going on here? On the other side of it, I would said and this was probably my biggest life lesson about 20 years ago. I’m coming home from work, and I’m exhausted, and my wife is pregnant with our second child, and we have Cole and he’s a toddler too, and some change. And Julie just wants to talk. And I’m like, Baby, I love you. But I’ve been talking all day. Just concept like we have a word bank. And I was at a deficit like I’m, I’m in the red. I use, this was Monday, and I’d already used up the Thursdays, you know, number of languaging and words, right. And so we didn’t talk. And I could tell that she was growing more distant and aggravated. And as she’s getting bigger with Marina, and long story short, it hit me like a ton of bricks. And I said, Okay, why am I working so hard? You know, here, I’m going through all this self help stuff and trying to learn and I said, my family deserves the best of me and not what’s left of me. I’ll move heaven and earth, for every client, I will show up, I will be fully present. I will, you know, shut everything else out, blocked my calls, do what I go, but I don’t do that. And that went great for about nine months. Marina’s born, life is good. I’m the playful Daddy, I’m the one changing diapers at 2am, rocking the kids to sleep. But Julie rest, having great conversation, and I am whooped you know, get to one of my occupations at the time. And they’re like, you’re right. And I’m like, I’m great. What? That’s perfect. Yeah, life is great, man. I’m feeling you know, I was in adrenal fatigue, I didn’t even know it. Yeah, as I’m pulling into my driveway said, Thank you, universe, my family, and I deserve the best to me, and not what’s left of me. I have forgotten all my rituals, I have forgotten all the things that helped make me healthy and happy and full and whole. And so my family inadvertently was getting the adrenal push through best of me, but not the authentic, present, loving, guided daddy, and husband. And when I made that shift, Brett, oh, my gosh, it shifted everything. But it came from doing one thing slowing down. Anyone who knows me, I’m a high energy guy, when I’m on task, I’m in it to win it. But then I realized too, and I live with Simon Sinek says there is no such thing as winning. There isn’t. There’s finite or infinite mindset, finite mindset, you know, some of the players. In fact, actually, let me rephrase that finite player, finite ideology, you know, all the players in the game, all of them. In fact, you know, all the players in the game, and you know, the rules of the game. And when someone breaks the rules, they get penalized. Kind of like the bad referees. Whether or not you are engaged in that or not, doesn’t make a difference, other people’s judgement of you, and regulations and different things. But those are the rules that we that’s what we signed up for. Here’s the bigger part, the outcome is to win the game. So there’s only two possibilities. Actually, there’s three there’s Win, lose or draw. But for most people, if they draw, they think they’re losing, they don’t go winning, they are losing. So I love infinite mindset, which is, you know, some of the players, but you only know the players up to a point because as you’re growing and evolving, you’re actually inviting through resonance frequency and through education and momentum and growth, other people in your world. The second part is there aren’t any rules. There’s only value alignment. Which means Oh, belief systems. Gosh, he’s a really good guy. I liked this Brett. He’s an amazing guy. I met his wife. Oh my gosh, they run a nonprofit. Yeah. kindred spirits. It’s like I love this. But here’s the best part. The outcome of the game is to stay in it for as long as you can. To live a full and fruitful life. Wow. That means there’s more opportunities where every month everywhere and that life of prosperity, that simple, but most people’s mindsets, and this is where they get the disconnect. And this is where sports with all due respect to coaches, they’ve got it wrong. Because it’s such a conditioned environment. So it’s there aren’t exceptions. There’s rules. There’s roles and these are the rules. This is the protocol this what you Okay, okay, okay, okay. There’s different ways to score goals. Have you ever seen someone who’s in the game was having so much frickin fun? That they seem like they’re running circles around everyone else? And you’re going Dang, why is that kid smiling all the time? He just seems freakin happy he is because he’s playing the game. And yes, the outcome is to win but in his model the world he’s there to show up and have the best freakin time he can.
Brett Gilliland 39:41
So I think he’s living in his he’s living in his value system right? I mean, that’s why you’re having fun and so it’s it’s this vicious cycle that just continues to run, run, run and no matter how many times we know what we need to do we know we need to exercise we know we need to drink a lot of water. We know we need to eat right? But it’s like the world we live in is so fast. To your point earlier. And I always say this too is we got to slow down to speed up. Is it without clarity, right? Whether it’s written down or not without clarity, it’s a confusing world Man is coming at you from every damn direction you can possibly think of. And so our clarity has to come from us writing it down, and the discipline to review it day in and day out and follow the plan long. You don’t want to.
Chuck Hogan 40:23
In time block.
Brett Gilliland 40:25
Yeah. I agree with that. I have my calendar right here, is color coordinated. Sure.
Chuck Hogan 40:29
Absolutely. And that’s one of the reasons why I started with this color coordination. In fact, I even took it into business and said, Okay, let’s look at it a different way. What if every engagement or there’s a commitment was read, it’s an opportunity, like you’re a bowl, and it’s a red flag, and you’re, you’re going for it? We’re all opportunities. And I said, but you’re not going to time block and 15 or 20 hour blocks, you can time block and 15 minute blocks. If you need an hour, and then you take for 15 minute blocks in your time together no big deal. But the outcome is to convert it to a shade of green. The green is is that oh I make connection with someone there a new client? Light green. Oh, I texted or emailed them. Like re made a phone call left a message like rate. Hey, we have an appointment next Thursday, medium green. Why? Because there’s a commitment. Now we’re an engagement. Hey, they’re a client. Now they signed on board dark green. Now if I started going through my calendar, I see a bunch of red in his squandered opportunity, and we didn’t do anything with that net time. Well, then shame on you. But if we’re converting, and we’re like, oh, yeah, that was a prospecting month. How do you know that? Because look at all the light green on my schedule, right? You know, and all of a sudden, now you have a gauge because again, you can’t change or move. What you don’t measure. If it’s not moving, you can’t measure it. So I go Okay, then let’s go ahead and be deliberate about what we’re looking for.
Brett Gilliland 41:49
Being deliberate, man, you gotta be deliberate. And again, I keep saying this even on this interview today, but even when you don’t want to mean that that’s the key right showing up even when you don’t want to do it. So, Chuck, this has been awesome, man. And where do our listeners find more of Chuck Hogan?
Chuck Hogan 42:02
Oh, you know what? You can go it’s real simple. YBLnow.com
Brett Gilliland 42:07
I YBLnow.com We’ll put that in the show notes.
Chuck Hogan 42:11
It’s for Your Best Life, we figure if you’re gonna live life live your best life you already in it. Yet so let’s get in it to win it and and to enjoy and to connect with other like minded lighthearted people.
Brett Gilliland 42:23
Love it. We’ll put YBL on the on the show notes and we’ll send them your way man. And thanks so much for all the wisdom you shared with us today from Dallas, Texas brother.
Chuck Hogan 42:31
It’s a, I appreciate you, Brett, thank you very much.
